But “San Andreas” is never scary, not in its torrents of lowest-bidder computer-generated imagery, not amidst story elements that evoke the ill-fated 1997 Tommy Lee Jones vehicle “Volcano,” and especially not when Caltech seismologist Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti) tells us how scary they are, mostly with junk science and an early, unearned emotional catharsis.
Earthquakes haven't been exploited at the movies as much as one would think (most prominently in 1974's Earthquake, which brought us the Sensurround gimmick), but those with long-memories can cross-reference 1997's Dante's Peak and Volcano, which are more or less the same movie as (each other and) San Andreas, except with geysers of lava.
Every generation gets its disaster epic where parts of California rumble under shifting tectonic plates and the Hollywood sign reads " O LYW OD," whether it's "Earthquake" (1974) or "Volcano" (1997) or the new entry, "San Andreas."
Not since, good Lord, maybe Volcano back in 1997 have I seen a disaster movie so painstakingly eager to be the most prototypical disaster movie it could possibly be.