It doesn't help that the film has a severe case of Ring envy; in fact, seeing it drove me to watch Gore Verbinski's film again, which only demonstrated how much White Noise wanted to be The Ring and how pathetically it failed.
These kinds of films stink up the multiplex, and "White Noise," the first release of the year, blasts out of the 2005 starting gate with an odorous eeeewwww, to be followed quickly by "Racing Stripes" and "Are We There Yet?" Treading on such familiar ground as "Frequency," "Ghost," "The Ring," "Poltergeist" and a host of other more enjoyable supernatural thrillers of years past, British tv director Geoffrey Sax and writer Niall Johnson sink this Canadian-U.K. co-production quicker than you can say EVPâElectronic Voice Phenomenonâan alternative long distance service hyped in this film (and by numerous paranormal authorities) that allows communication between the living and the dead.
He also wraps the entire package in a kind of inhuman video twitch, perfected by David Fincher in Seven (1995) and most recently adapted in Gore Verbinski's remake of The Ring.
After "The Ring" petrified audiences in 2002, producers from Hollywood to Hong Kong were apparently convinced that electronic devices are downright horrifying.
Why, back in aught-two, the VHS phantom girl from "The Ring," mean as she was, at least had the common decency to stop, pick up the phone and place a courtesy call before moving in for the kill.
The Ring worked much better for this sort of thing.