Pirates (1986)
Directed by Roman Polanski
The adventures of pirate Captain Red and his first mate Frog.
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What critics compared Pirates to
Roman Polanski labored for years to make one and when he did, the result, "Pirates", was so nightmarishly miscast (Walter Matthau as a grizzled pirate captain?) and executed that it remains the single greatest lapse in judgment of his entire life.
Sure, he sullied it along the way, be it with admissions of statutory rape, or movies like Pirates, but when you carry a canon that contains the likes of Repulsion, Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown, and The Tenant, we can forgive a few Bitter Moons along the way.
(His infamous 1986 flop “Pirates” may be his worst film but I would take its freakish charms over the entire “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy in a heartbeat.)
Make no mistake about it, "Carnage" is a dreadful movie through and through--it is arguably Polanski's worst feature to date and this is coming from someone who is such an admirer of his work that I have been known to have kind things to say about his infamous seafaring epic "Pirates"--but more than that, it is a dispiriting film that will have audiences sagging in their seats while watching it and staggering out of the theater afterwards in a state of depressed disappointment after enduring its near-total waste of time and talent.
But after a strong start, The Ninth Gate disintegrates into Pirates (1985) territory.
Frankly, with a lesser actor, I doubt my second visit with The Ninth Gate would have been so pleasurable, but this flick hails from a pre-Pirates era, one in which Depp melted effortlessly into whatever character he was playing.
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Polanski won the Palme d'Or at Cannes with The Pianist in 2002.
A couple films have found success (notably Tess), while others, like Pirates and The Ninth Gate , have bombed.