In "Conan the Barbarian," the latest attempt to bring the muscular hero of the pulp novels of Robert E. Howard to the big screen (following John Milius' 1982 classic of the same name that made a star of the then-unknown Arnold Schwarzenegger, the lame family-friendly 1984 sequel "Conan the Destroyer" and the appearance of an ersatz version featured in the ludicrous 1985 take on Howard's "Red Sonja," enemies are crushed and driven before us in enormous numbers but the greatest lamentations are likely to come from fans of the character as they once again watch Hollywood screw up what should have been a sure thing.