Uwe Boll
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The film reminded me of nothing less of John Waters' Pink Flamingos (1972), which I found nauseating the first and only time I tried to watch it.
Though every once in a while the camera freeze-frames on an arrow piercing an infected like something out of Uwe Boll’s “House of the Dead.”
Scenes in which Blut’s team of assassins empty clips into a morbidly obese man in America, complete with bullets going through large soda cups and bags of cheese curls, wouldn’t feel out of place in Postal or Rampage , Jayson Rothwell’s screenplay burning with barely concealed contempt for everyone save for stoic dudes with eyepatches and mad fight skills.
Scenes in which Blut’s team of assassins empty clips into a morbidly obese man in America, complete with bullets going through large soda cups and bags of cheese curls, wouldn’t feel out of place in Postal or Rampage , Jayson Rothwell’s screenplay burning with barely concealed contempt for everyone save for stoic dudes with eyepatches and mad fight skills.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Directed by Burr Steers
influenced by Alone in the Dark (2005)
I haven’t suffered such anguish at the movies since reviewing Uwe Boll’s appalling Alone in the Dark back in 2005.
For a moment, I was tempted to compare the results more to something like the recent Uwe Boll abomination “Postal” but while the film doesn’t quite sink to those unspeakable depths, the artistic gulf between the two is not as wide as one might hope--at least Boll’s film opened with a scene (two of the 9/11 terrorists are flying towards the World Trade Center when they discover that the number of virgins promised to them in the afterlife has changed drastically from the original estimates) that had a comedic premise that I could understand and recognize, even though it wasn’t actually funny by even the loosest dictionary definition of the word.
French director Xavier Gens' second feature is better than anything in the genre directed by Paul WS Anderson (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil) or Uwe Boll (BloodRayne), but topping that pair isn't much of a challenge.
Antes tuvimos la terrible película de Super Mario Bros. (1993) –a pesar de Bob Hopkins, John Leguizamo y, claro, el gran Dennis Hopper como Koopa–, y luego vinieron los horrores imperdonables de la saga de Resident Evil (2002); babosadas sin sentido como Pixels (2015) –que, aunque no sea adaptación, se empantana en revivir viejos juegos ochenteros–; las locuras de Dead or Alive (2006); las espantosas Alone in the Dark (2005) y Farcry (2008) del pobre Uwe Boll –que quiso dirigir Warcraft pero que Blizzard, con justa razón, mandó a volar–; los horrores recientes sin alma de Angry Birds (2016) y Need for Speed (2014); las dos bazofias de Hitman (lo siento Mila Kunis); la pésima adaptación de Doom (2005) y un largo etcétera que sólo se salva, tal vez, con la visualmente impactante e innovadora Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001).
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 (2015)
Directed by Francis Lawrence
influenced by House of the Dead (2003)
Plot
Despite an attempt to bring the spirit of the games on to the battlefield (marauding House of the Dead -style “mutts” and contrived booby-trapped battlefields), the brilliantly brutal gladiatorial narrative that first drove the Hunger Games series now seems a distant memory.
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Directed by Ridley Scott
influenced In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)
Themes
Given a choice between Boll's In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale and another swordfighting epic, say, Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven (2005), I'd take Boll's new film.
Michael Mann has always been an overrated director, but with Miami Vice he's joined the ranks of Uwe Boll (Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne), Michael Bay (Bad Boys II, Armageddon) and Ed Wood (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Glen or Glenda) as creator of one of the world's worst films.